Why I Refuse to Throw my Children's Elf on the Shelf in the Trash

I haven't seen a lot of opinion articles saying that we should throw our children's elf on the shelf in the trash in 2020. This is my reasoning for why I think that is the worst idea for your children.  

My daughter is seven and she loves her elf on the shelf named Scarlett. Her elf has extended its family to include a stuffed Santa Claus named Santy as her husband, and a two of Kahlan's old toys as children they adopted. 

Kahlan has wanted an elf on the shelf since before we could afford one. So a Santa Claus that I found at an outlet for $5 became her elf on the shelf a few years ago. Last year we could afford a real elf on the shelf, so we got one. When Scarlett appeared, Santee was also out as a decoration so Kahlan said oh my gosh he found a wife! Later during the season when her toys ended up near the elf on the shelf and Santee she suggested something that later ended up with me writing her a letter that they had adopted those as their children. The idea for her probably had something to do with us not being able to have more children, but Kahlan wanting younger siblings so bad. 

Kahlan gets really sad every year when the elves have to leave, so hers visit on birthdays. The joy this brings her still even though I don't think she actually believes in their magic anymore, is why I refuse to throw her in the bin as many keep suggesting.

I'm not saying that 2020 hasn't been hard and that finding that the energy and the desire to move the elves every night isn't sometimes gone on my part. But my children have had a hard 2020 as well, and I bet yours have too. So how selfish would I have to be to decide that this is the year her tradition isn't important, because I'm depressed and have had a hard year. My children's happiness means more to me than mine, so even if I wake up in the middle of the night realizing I forgot to move them, but I'm also in pain because of my inflamed liver from lupus, I still get up and move them.

I'm not saying that these parents lives aren't hard and their reasoning for wanting to just forget about the elf on the shelf isn't valid. But if your elf on the shelf makes your child happy then freaking move it around every night. Get over it!

I've never done those crazy elaborate things that I have seen on Pinterest, or bought the ad on packs the company sells. I've wanted to but because I'm too sick, I don't.

I had two major surgeries this year that put me in the hospital for a week each time and then on my back for the next few months. A kidney auto transplant in January 2020 and a laprascopic duodenojujenostomy in July 2020. I had feeding tubes and daily home health visits between the two surgeries, while doing online schooling for the kids while my husband works. So while I can't work full time anymore, I get what it is to struggle everyday. 

It's has nothing to do with the actual elf on the shelf. I've got lots of siblings and I'm the only one who does it for my kids. It's the fact that you created this tradition for your kids, and you're deciding to ditch that tradition in an already tumultuous year for them.

Maybe it's because ours is more about our children being happy with the connection between the North Pole than it is necessarily me trying to force them into being good kids because I'm lucky and they are good kids, why I feel this way. But I'd be a liar if I said that a lot of these articles I've come across don't come off sounding completely self-centered and selfish. If you're feeling depressed and doing the elaborate things that you see online is just to overwhelming that's fine. Nobody ever said you had to do crazy things more than moving your elf every once in a while.

However, if you've done the elf on the shelf at all in the past few years, and then you rip it away because 2020 is hard, how do you think this is going to affect your children? Do you honestly think that they haven't had a hard time this year? Do you think that they don't rely on your traditions for stability and happiness? I promise you that they do, even if they don't expressly tell you.

In this house our elf on the shelf is going to keep moving around the house. Guess what? I've already forgotten to do it and my daughter laughed and said they were being lazy. You don't have to be perfect. No family tradition doesn't have it's hiccups. My son doesn't believe in the elf at age 9, so he's been coming up with ideas for the elf (without prompting) because it makes his sister happy. He has had a hard year and trying to make his sister happy is also making him happier. Service has that effect.

So I say to all those op-eds floating around trying to make Mom's feel guilty, stop being jerks. If you made a selfish decision that life is too hard to continue family traditions, I feel bad for your poor kids but I can't change you.The rest of us though are going to try keeping as much stability and happiness in our kids lives as we can. Cancel culture will not ruin my children's lives as long as I've got any say in the decision.